Four Seasons I is preparing to redefine luxury at sea. Not content with just being the floating equivalent of a five-star hotel, they’ve only gone and curated an entire culinary universe so lush and elaborate it makes Downton Abbey’s kitchen look like a sausage sizzle at Bunnings.

Let’s start with the numbers: 11 unique restaurants and bars. Eleven! That’s more than the number of kitchen appliances I own. Each one has been curated by “craftspeople,” which is yacht-speak for “chefs who could reduce you to tears by how beautifully they slice a radish”.

And the vibe? Think “international gastronomic excellence” but add ocean breezes, Champagne fountains, and probably a waiter named Hugo in crisp linen whispering, “May I suggest the sea urchin espuma, madam?” as you weep quietly into your Balik salmon.